so i guess people reading my lj isnt over soo i'll change my setting again



i thought my ljs were safe



i guess this is y i havent written in them for soo long


i'm tired of this shit, i was soo happy it was over


and i'm not stupid i can figure out who writes this stupid soo yeah


but anywayz


merry christmas everyone

i'm going to full sail


starting Aug. 4th 2008




i guess me and jasmine are moving in our place in july




my future is starting




i'm just worried about money
my mom may have cancer and it scares the shit out of me


b/c of the doctors bills, we are short on money which means i'm getting another job soon


life is crazy sometimes
it gives us new paths and doors
you wannna open the door and see whats inside
but your scared of what it holds
but yet cant wait to see

I HATE MY LIFE
but you know what, i'm going to be 18th this month and i need to be a grown-up. i just hope connor and josh can.



now you maybe wondering, why connor and josh?
because my 6th period math is being changed into another class and guess what class i got moved into???



1st period, and guess whos in that class?













connor and josh(man you guys are smart)



i'm going to talk to ms. bailey tomorrow morning about the whole seating thing. in that class we seat in groups. i know josh wont talk to me, but connor, oh connor. he is like a 5 year old. so rude and always has been. i've never liked him. i tired to be nice when me and josh were going out. but hes the reason why me and josh ended. hes the reason why laura and tim hated me. i didn't say shit about them when he said that stuff to them. i love who he didn't say i was skipping class when he overheard me. dumbass


i've learned alot in the last couple days, that i don't need josh in my life at all. i alway try to remember the good times and how good he was in the beginning. but what matters is how he treated me in the end. and that was trouble. i was pregnant and i'll never forget what he said when i told him after i took the test and it was +, "youre not my girlfriend don't call me"
y did i waste 4 months trying to be nice to him? i guess i learned my lesson. some guys change. and are jerks not matter how nice you are. and its sad when they aren't man enough to deal with adult things. i still wish the best for him. i just don't wanna deal with him.

hes never said sorry for how he handled the baby.
i don't give a shit about the cheating. i know thats the only way we would have broken up was if one of us broke up with each other and was like "oh i cant get back with you i'm with them."
i know..... we had tired to break-up, it never worked. soo i have no problem with the cheating. its how he treated me. its how he had soo like respect for me through out the end. and how he cared more about stephanie then our kid. he wouldnt go to the doctor wiht me b/c she didnt want him too. he didnt care about our kid. which btw was real, but i don't wanna get into that.


he doesn't wanna be friends and the same goes for me. i just wanna be civil. but its gotten to the point where i'll play hes "i'm immature, blah blah blah, i'm soo cool now blah blah blah" game
but i'm going to be 18 years old so i'm not going to deal with this shit.
there are going to be people in life that you don't like and can't get along with. and this is one of those moments. and i going to go to the class and forget about it. i can talk to alexis.

i don't want a relationship
why did this hit me?


because i almost went out with boy#1(read last lj if you don't understand)
well yeah we're im-ing late night and hes like i wanna ask you something and i'm talking "oh shit, i don't think i wanna go out with him"
so i call
he doesn't answer, think God
but we finally talk today and we decided that we both don't want a relationship, which is a weight off my shoulders because i didn't wanna hurt him. it was more or less us, or really him, trying to relive the past and wanting more then what is really there. we all have are "what if" boys. he was mine. and i was his "what if" girl. but i don't wanna go back into the past. i'd like to leave it as what if.
i was praying today about what i should do, and thats when it hit be.
i just like the idea of a boyfriend, but don't wanna deal with it.
i'm scared. i don't wanna get into something serious. you don't go looking for a serious relationship, it just happens. and that's whats scary.
so the single life is for me, at least for right now.



but boy#2 is still there.
its new and fresh.
its fun and exciting.
with boy#1 i kinda know everything, boring.

who knows whats going to happen, but thats the fun with life.

pep rally: they are what i live for. i had the greatest time. i stood wiht kayla david and patsy. they are great. we yelled and dance. me and kayla did the cha-cha to the fight song and almost fell down. i was soo hyper and pumped for the game and dnace. this time people actually joined in and enjoyed the pep rally.

the game: it was cold but i had fun. i guess we lost i left at 9 b/c the guy i was with was leaving. but guess who i saw? FAITH!!!!! i love her soo much. at 1st i just saw sarah so i was going to say hi, then i hear sara!!! it was faith. that lady was always soo nice to me. i saw brody. i havent seen him since he was born. i went to him and said, "i was one of the 1st to hold u", and he just had the biggest smile ever. SOOO CUTE!!!! sarah and casey asked how i was. casey told me i'm still on their computer screen. he was like "i saw you yesterday on our computer" lol. casey asked if i like my new house, thinking i lived with my dad. i told him its nice, but i dont live there. told him i was leaving my dads and drove by their house and asked how they liked it. he said its great and that i should stop by and see it since i never got to see it done. i told sarah i heard shes doing hair. i guess she does good eyebrows soo she said to come see her on a saturday. faith asked me to sit with her. i didnt want to make tim mad soo we talked a little and then i finally sat with her. i felt weird being there b/c i'm not going out with him anymore soo i told her my date was looking for me, which he was, and that i loved her. she said she loved me too. YAY!!! i told them i have to say that they were the only thing i missed about dating josh. lol they said they missed seeing me around. i was very close to joshs family, his moms side. idk. but it was nice seeing them.

the dance: callie didnt go with me b/c we go into a fight +she was sick. the dance was kinda lame anywayz. i danced with a lot of guys. its my senior year lol. i saw kayla kelly from wild waters. she was making fun of how forest kids dance," they dance like white people" lol she was crazy she tired to teach me soo moves and made me switch dance partners soo i dance with her boyfriend for a little while. everyone loved my dress. at the game someone thought i was on court b/c i looked soo nice lol. i was invited to this party thing but there was goin to be weed there and i dont do that and hate that shit soo yeah. i just hang out with kyle after the dance and went home. boring i know. but i'm a good girl remember?

sooo im not doing a skit for kats kapers
b/c the school is gay as fuck

we shouldn't make fun of anyone

"the football players work too hard to be made fun of"


w/e but i guess my video is going to be shown at kats kapers by interact, which they didnt ask but w/e


i guess me and marcie are going to dance up for kats kapers and wear nice dresses like sun dresses, even if its cold out


my outfit for tomorrow, 1st day of kindergarten is the going to be great


i have been soo stress about the skit kinda happy we dont have to do it, but i was happy about it but w/e
God has a plan.

i'm soo sore form the powder puff game my legs and arms are killing me. i was walking weird today lol


me and kyle are talking again

idk if i want to
i dont wanna have feelings again for him
he can be soo weird
i think hes still mad a picked josh over him but he can suck it
at the time it was the better choice

i'm wearing the socks anthony got me lol
i love him, we're going to get marry one day, as long as i play with his hair and rub hes back lol (thats what he says) oh and jordan can still sleep with us. hes crazy.

thats my day
tomorrow school and kats kapers
GO WILDCATS!!!!!!
as always


gossip girl on tonight fav show

i'm checking my mail and i see this......



From: Kim[would rock your world] Kim[would..

myspace.com/kim_awsome
Date: Nov 6, 2007 5:31 PM

Subject: about ur blog!!
Body: u know something sara...it's ppl like you that make the world a better place!! I mean that!! TRUST ME...YOUR smiles go ALONGGG wayy!! I used to think to myself"what makes this girl soo happy all the time in such a horrible world we live in these days??!" its the heart you where given sara..dont let anything or anyone take awayyy the one thing that everyone loves about you!! u have such an amazing spark about you..that ppl would kill for!! I love the wayy you take in the bad and over see it with good..ur a tough person sara...i wish i could do what you do..with just a smile!! Its very rare that we find someone like you these days..Whatever ur goin' through right now..i have confidence that you'll pull through..maybe not right awayy..but you'll pull through..i know it!!
♥kim


sometimes i wish i wasnt the way i am.


i'm soo hyper and happy.


sometimes i wish i should be the bitch, but i cant


i can think it, but never put into action


reading this makes me feel good about myself and happy that people see how i am & LOVE IT

i read this poem in english and i liked this quote from it a lot it goes like this





"Such is the power of love in gentle mind, That it can alter all the course of kind.



*kind means nature

soo the game was great WE WON!!!!!



i painted my stomach see



so i saw connor at the game and he says to me "who cares if your nice no one was going to vote for you for homecoming court"


this pissed me off

first off i got 67 votes
the 5th girl on court got 113
do the math
46 votes
thats how much i left by

there were 40 girls on the ballot and i got that many votes
i'm proud of myself
i didn't really want queen b/c u cant be queen and ms.fhs........... i think

my dance is going to be AWESOME

practice today was great i'm a great guard

tomorrow i go to school at 3 to dress up the school for homecoming then winghouse with all the guys(and brittany) to watch the big game COLTS VS PATS
i cant wait GO COLTS which is weird b/c i don't like them really b/c of the jags but i feel that the colts have it in them to win this game i like the underdog

ummmmmmmm what else.................
my nana got a new battery for her pacemaker friday. shes doing fine. thank God, i dont know what i'd do without her.

YAY i saw my brother yesterday. i missed him. i brought him dinner before the play.



i have a lot to do tomorrow.

1.get everything ready for homecoming in 2nd period aka the banners, etc me and jarlyn will be there only ones in there b/c everyone else is at the golf thing.
2.get everything ready for the pep rally.
3.mc the pep rally
4.get my paycheck
5.pick up my homecoming dress
6.paint my stomach for the game
7.check in girls for anchor at the game
8.CHEER ON MY WILDCATS!!!!!!!
9.try to get some of my online done, i'm behind 5 weeks
10.pay the jaguars tickets for me and my daddy


well thats going to be my friday

guess who called me last night?????????????













scott roberts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!







weird i know we havent talked in like 3 years

i'm on the ballot for homecoming queen


i got the perfect dress today. i'm picking it up friday.

homecoming is in the air and i love it. i have soo much school spirit. sunday all the senior officers and sga officers are going to dress up the school. GO WILDCATS!!!!
this friday is the vanguard game. i haer someone of the guys quit b/c we lose friday to lake weir. its no ones fault, its a team. we didnt play to our ability. this team is better then last years. we just went into it thinking, "oh its lake weir, we got this" and that thinking puts your guard down. i have faith we can come back.



i'm going to a play tonight for extra credit, "On Golden Pond"
i think i'm sitting with this really nice new girl from north marion. its just goes to show there are nice people from there.


no tricking-or-treating for me

happy halloween everyone!!!!!!

i love my callie
she was doing soo good with the whole mike thing then somehow it went to hell


i love them both
i know if i called mike crying he would be like who did and and where can i find them (which he has done)



and callie and me have been friends since 5th grade BEST since 6th
i love how we can not talk for like 3 months and just talk and act like we never stopped talking


callie was there for me this summer big time


i'm soo happy she worked at the wild with me
we reconnected
i need my callie in my life


i have to say i am really proud of her
she did alot better then i did with this break up but she did have me there to tell her what NOT to do lol
yeah she didnt get cheated on and lose a baby
but love is love
and heartache is heartache

i know she really wants to be friends with him but sometimes that cant happen.... at least not right now. people need time to think about everything. i know that they wont get back together at least not this year, if they ever do. at least they have a chance to be friends, he doesn't have a girl stopping him. i think mikes stronger then that anyway. if he wants callie in his life, he wont let a girl stop him.

i know that mike is a great guy. and that he cares about callie but it just wasn't right. if i learned anything from josh it was that high school relationships are nice but they are not marriage. they are lessons, things to learn from. its nice to think "yeah i'll marry him" but in the long run its not going to happen. and when you think that and that relationship ends you have to rethink everything. you have to take that person out of your future plans, and that takes time. i know for me it did. it was hard to think of me in orlando without him, but now i can. now i see me and jasmine living it up in orlando. we're going to OWN that town lol.


it takes time, now i know my girl can do it. as i said, just wait for him to came to you. when u're getting ready to leave he'll see u're going to be gone soon and see that he does want you to in his life. he'll know he'll want you there somehow, just knowing your ok. not a relationship just a call once in awhile call friendship. hopefully it wont take that long. and if he doesnt screw him, hes missing out. callie, just know i love you and your my best friend forever and i'm always here. your my sexy date to homecoming and we're going to dance the night away

ok do you seriously have nothing else better to do with your life than sit here and think about me all the time.
it honestly..haha..makes me laugh.
do i sit here and search for YOU on livejournal!? ummm..no
you added me.
and i just love how you address everything to me.
i just wanted to tell you that.

happiness is not rubbing your relationship in someone else's face, its soaking it up.
i wish the best for you guys and i hope you guys are truly happy.
im not sitting here trying to beg for his friendship back because thats really immature..if you cant let me be friends with him, whatever. im still living and breathing.
i have great friends that care about me and that would do anything for me.
its not like i tell them to go and say crap to him or you. its just them being good friends to me.
i went through a lot of hurt and pain.
and now that im finally getting over it..
just let me be..let me be happy.

finally updated my info on here



check it out


vote for me for homecoming queen



sooo excited

callie's coming over right now to buy for her homecoming ticket




i wish girls understood that you dont need a boy to make you happy


be independent
its fun


trust me

i love my life




i have the best friends ever



HOMECOMING IS IN THE AIR


my favorite time of year

i'm dressing up for all the days


playing in powder puff


we're going out for blood this year
lol
suck it juniors lol


i'm on the ballot for homecoming court



GO ME!!!!!
i'm friends with about everyone so i have a really good chance of getting on court


i don't care if i win queen


i'm going after ms.fhs


oh yeah



i'm a wildcat at heart and always will be



GO CATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



i know i got very pissed we lose friday night

i get very out of hand
i threatened to kill the defense

yeah

i finally did it



i made a box


put everything in it


it felt soo good



all i need is a box for the ring

or i'll just give it back

sarah dyke makes tv for me

i'm not talking to my best friend b/c we got in a fight that somehow goes back to my ex
i tired to fix my problems with my ex and he tells me we'll never be friends after i put myself out there to be nice after he cheated on me
i've been stressed about school and my future
i feel alone
i've noticed i've made a lot of friends but idk not ones where i can call for whatever
i've just been depressed
i'm stressed about my video
and now
my moms sick she has to go to the hospital
i don't want my mommy to die

i've cried way too much the week

i'm tired of people lieing

i'm tired of people treating me like shit


i just wanna cry